megsquiveringnethers:

wayward-angel:

 i hate developing a crush on someone because its always the most inappropriate person to have a crush on

without fail

Yeah, like a married father over 35…

(via prostitutes-anonymous)

stolenpandorica:

elisetheawesome:

kyoukokiriqiri:

why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever”

or ”the crimson horror”

are u guys okay

(via prostitutes-anonymous)

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

(via virgin--lips)

galaxys4:

hello students. welcome to my math class. we will be having a class trip this year, the first ever math field trip in history. it’s to hell. here we are

(Source: galaxys4, via laughcentre)

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

(via laughcentre)